Friday, September 28, 2007

God Is So Big

Where have I been the last 1 1/2 months? Well I've been trying to catch my breath and catch up with all God is doing in our lives. Let me first say that I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. I thought that I loved him as much as possible. However through all that the last weeks have brought us, I now love him beyond reason. He is truly my soulmate and best friend. He has supported me, talked to me, prayed with me, and loved me through the surprizes that God has blessed us with. I love you Wayne!









Now, let me tell you who God is to me. He is my rock. He is the faithful father that has never given up on me even though I sooooo deserve it. He is the reason that I have hope. You see, he sent his son, Jesus, to earth to die for me. Without this happening, I would be destined to hell. Heavy stuff, yes. But it is the one undeniable fact of life. Without Jesus Christ as your savior, you have no connection to God. You have no God if you do not believe that Jesus was his one and only son, came into the world to die on a cross, and rose three days later. He took the punishment that we all deserve because of the sin in our lives. That's it. That's all we have that is worth anything. If you don't know this Jesus, email me and I will be happy to introduce you today. Do Not Wait!! Let me tell you, my God is so big to me right now!!!!!
OK! As you may or may not know, God started working in my heart in Nov/Dec 2005 on an adoption from China. I was scared but excited that this might be in His plan for me. However, my prayer was: You will have to deal with Wayne. I just couldn't see this being something that he would go for. We are neither one all that young anymore, and our children were getting older too. Things were very easy! (MMMMM, sounds like a situation where God needs to stir things up, right?) Well throughout the next year, God moved so purposely in both of our lives. He gave us very clear revelations and signs on a regular basis. For example:

1) Feb 7 '06 - My34th birthday. I asked God for birthday present of clarity on where he wants to see me head in my life. I asked him to speak very loudly and clearly to me so that I would know it was from him. His answer: continual pictures of beautiful Chinese little girls at Dr's office and, when shopping for a notebook for myself, the notebooks in stock were covered with chinese symbols for hope & courage.

2) On March 5 '06 I was praying and worshipping and God audibly wispered to me "Go to China". I have only heard an audible word from God a few times in my life, so this was huge to me. Wayne starts freaking out a bit.

3) I continually see families that have adopted form China and end up connecting with some of them.

I could go on forever about this but I must move on.

God worked on Wayne, in his own special way and soon he was on board. He was only interested in a NSN child, but I was open to what ever God chose. Immediately after he agreed, we tried to apply to the NSN adoption program of a Christian agency. We were told that China had changed the requirements for adoption, and they told us that they would not even accept our application. I was so heartsick and confused. Then, one of my childhood friends came to me to talk about her adopting form Korea. We soon realize that this would be the only way we would be able to adopt. In the Korea program, you can only choose the sex of the baby if you apply for a waiting child. MMMMM Wayne came around and we applied to Holt International on Christmas Day 2006 for an international adoption from KOREA. Things went well on the paperchase, but I could not shake the feeling that China was the "meant to be" in our adoption experience. I knew that we were supposed to adopt, but something was a little off. Finally I spoke to Wayne about this. He felt the same way. In April '07, we had a conversation with our social worker, explained what we were feeling and what we had been told. She said that we would have no problem being accepted into the China program at all. We immediately switched to China. So peaceful, so hopeful, so calm. we finished up the paperwork for China and received a LID of 8/7/07. We were settled down for a 2 year wait. It would give us time to prepare our home for a baby and work out our finances.

However, God had other plans. Ten (that's right, ten!) days later, on 8/17/07 I was shopping at Value City for wicker baskets and I got a phone call from Holt. They had a referral for us to consider. I had to sat down in the patio furniture section in order to talk to her! Ji Xiang Shi was a SN child who was small. She was only 5 lbs when she was found in June '06. Wayne and I told no one about her and hit our knees before our King. Four days later, we accepted the referral. I would love to introduce to you all Ji Xiang Shi aka Sydney Lian Woods!