Family Day

Today marks 2 years that Sydney has been in our family.  I must admit I am a bit weepy about it.  Looking back at these pictures makes me sad for how small and under-developed she was.  She was so tiny!  Now we understand how she really was a 22 month old infant.  But we were quite unprepared for that at the time.  I am not sure one can ever be prepared for something like that.  She was so malnurished.  She could barely walk.  She had never had solid food and when we tried to feed her, she would just move the food around in her mouth and give it back to us.  She literally did not know how to eat.  She had very thin hair and no muscle tone whatsoever.  She hid her face with her hands for a long time and just could not look at us.  It was utterly heart breaking. 

She has made so much progress, and yet has so far to go.  She still cannot sleep through the night without waking 1-3 times yelling for me.  She does it in a way that seems like she doubts that I will come.  She has that fear still.  We still cannot leave her with a sitter without it triggering fits, tantrums, and sleeplessness for several weeks afterwards.  She needs ALOT  of one on one attention, and if she doesn't get it, we get fits, tantrums, and slepplessness.  At almost four years old now, I would classify her as a 2 year old. 

Would I do it again?

Absolutely.  In a heartbeat.

I would not go back and change a thing.  She is my daughter, through and through.  I love her with every fiber of my being.  She has stretched me to lengths that I did not think possible.  And she has made me into someone that I could not have been without her. 

Thank you, God, for this beautiful gift of adoption.  Thank you for creating this child to be born on the other side of the world in order to journey all the way to my arms.  I will forever be in awe of your love for us.